Today is World Mental Health Day.
I think most of us, at some point, will experience something that affects our mental health. Anxiety. Depression. Grief. Trauma. Loss. Sometimes it has a name, and sometimes it’s simply something heavy we’re carrying.
For me, one of those things has been survivor’s guilt.
As a breast cancer survivor, I’ve certainly asked “Why me?” But never really in the “Why did this happen to me?” sense.
My “why me” has always been:
“Why was I spared?”
Why did my treatment work when someone else’s didn’t? Why did I get good news when another family received devastating news? Why am I still here when other women who fought just as hard and wanted to live just as much are not?
That’s where survivor’s guilt shows up for me.
Logically, I know someone else’s outcome has nothing to do with mine. My surviving didn’t take anything away from someone else. But emotions aren’t always logical.
Sometimes gratitude and guilt occupy the same space.
I am incredibly grateful to be here. Yet sometimes another diagnosis, recurrence, or loss brings that question rushing back: Why was I spared?
I don’t know that I’ll ever have an answer.
But those feelings have shaped what I’ve chosen to do with my survivor status.
I’ve become a very open book. When someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, or someone they love begins that journey, I want them to know they can call me. Ask the uncomfortable questions. Tell me they’re scared. Cry. Vent. Ask what treatment was like or what came next.
Helping someone else navigate that road doesn’t answer my “why,” but somehow, it helps me live with the question.
If something I went through can make someone else feel a little less frightened, alone, or more prepared for what comes next, then maybe I can use something incredibly difficult for something good.
On World Mental Health Day, I hope you know this:
Whatever you are carrying matters.
You don’t have to compare it to what someone else is going through to decide whether it’s “bad enough.” You don’t have to justify why something hurts or pretend you’re okay because someone else may have it worse.
What you’re feeling is real, and you deserve support while you work through it.
And if you need someone to listen, I’m here.
